2010-07-02

鼠标

据说很有一些非洲人操作鼠标是用"拍"的,于是,我们的软件必须要能够完全通过键盘进行操作。
一直不是很理解。

今天看见了一个雷人的:
One day, I was teaching a nurse how to order medications using the new software. I explained to her the concept of ordering medicine over the computer and discussed how to use the mouse and keyboard to place the order. Just as I was done saying that, she picked up the mouse and talked into it, as if it were a microphone. I froze in shock for a few seconds and didn't know if I should pass out from laughter or simply turn around and walk away like it never happened. I kept my composure and showed her how to use the mouse correctly.
释然了。

2010-06-08

石头记

毕业后工作不久,某日,突然发现,两颗门牙变黑了。
大约是牙垢、牙石吧。只是看见龇牙的照片时略有不爽,也懒得搭理。

后来,拔牙时,顺带一问。说是色素沉着。
再问是否要洗牙。答曰,不用。
遂心安理得。

今年春节后,某日,突然发现,牙又变白了!
疑惑中……

今天体检,B超。
侧身后,待大夫呼噜两下,便欲起身。
被按下,嘱鼓肚皮。
然后悲剧了——肾结石……

问之,是否需要治疗。
答曰,不痛不用管……
忐忑中……

感情石头挪地方了……

2010-06-06

I just want you to hold me

Original: I just want you to hold me

=====8<===== 似乎要翻墙 =====8<=====

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either ….but at least that she knows I'm smarter than her.

2010-05-11

Bug or feature?

http://blogs.msdn.com/shawnhar/archive/2009/12/29/bug-or-feature.aspx

城建四门口再次上演堵路口

城建四的门口从空荡荡,到现在的升降杆、路障、双门卫……
从大爷大妈路边集聚,到水泥罐车堵大门。
上次还是两辆车,这次一辆车,似乎也堵得挺好。

2010-05-04

As planned...


上进

http://www.douban.com/group/topic/10998964/

今天在泰记旁边的那家海产店里面,看到一只螃蟹,不顾身遭捆绑的事实,灰常努力地,试图从标价$18.99的箱子,往标价$29.99的箱子里爬!

我驻足凝视许久,内牛满面。。。。



〓〓〓〓〓 版权的分割线 〓〓〓〓〓

惊见此贴以各种变体出现在:豆瓣、校内、推特、微博、天涯以及各种论坛。。。。

特此严正声明:以上记录,过去、现在、未来,属于且只属于LZ和那只螃蟹!忽视史实者,必遭跨箱追捕!


〓〓〓〓〓 版权的分割线 〓〓〓〓〓