某女文氓写道《好亲不过姑娘嘴》，于文末看到了《好摸不过少妇腿》。
首先，是感受女流氓的积极向上。
然后就想，所谓"淳朴"，这也是一方面，只是不上台面而已。
现场版的山歌，其实有很多机会的。只是我太懒了……
亲身体验过最接近的：
三姨出嫁时，被强迫当了一回"善才童子"。主要内容似乎是，拎着风灯？总之全程参与，无聊到死。
但是，万万没想到，外婆来了一出"哭嫁"。
半大不小的我，哪见过这阵仗啊 @_@ 用现在的话说，那是被雷得外焦里嫩啊。
事后才知道，哭嫁似乎是土家族的风俗。而外婆偏偏是地道苗寨出来的，哭的即非苗语，也非土家语。
不管怎样，亲身体验是很爽的回忆。
除了人太多，头天晚上给哄到汽车站的旅馆大通铺——又硬又冷又重，带着刺鼻尿骚的被子啊～～～
当初好好的环境，没有深入体验生活，煞是可惜。
搞得现在太文明。要流氓一把、淳朴一下而不得。
2010-08-07
2010-07-31
TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
TOP 10:
01. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
02. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
03. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
04. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
05. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
06. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
07. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
08. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
09. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
10. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Funny? And the rest...
Funny and thoughtful.
01. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
02. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
03. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
04. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
05. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
06. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
07. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
08. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
09. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
10. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Funny? And the rest...
Funny and thoughtful.
2010-07-22
不靠谱 => 靠谱
靠谱是相对的……
Lincoln Index 就描述了，怎么从不靠谱的数据，得到相对靠谱的数据。
数数鸭子、数数鱼是可以的。也有人用来估计出版物的错误。
其他用途就看需要了。
甚至，国家大事/势，只要机关/构公布了足够的数据，和自己的数据一比较，就可以心里有数了。不光是感觉，还可以相对的量化了。
比如说，住房空置率，只要对住房总数达成一致，通过公布的数据，和自己对周边的观察，就能得到一个比较靠谱的数据了。
如果自己的数据已经完全被公布数据覆盖，那么，自然是以公布数据为准。
如果自己的数据有未覆盖到的，比如只有50%出现在公布数据中，那么计算得到的最后结果，就是公布数据的两倍。——和直觉很相符。
如果住房总数达不成一致，也可以通过这个公式计算嘛——假设公布数据中能细到，自己力所能及统计的小区域。
关键是，它为管中窥豹提供了数学依据。为直觉判断提供了佐证。
而且实践起来也不是很麻烦，不用七擒七纵，来个欲擒故纵（抓、放、抓）就 OK了。
其实，只要有两个独立的数据就行了。比如，审校就可以两个人分头并行，省掉了中间"放"的过程和时间。
更为重要的是，它提供了一种从可知到不可知的途径。
通过它，能获得，理论上，通过实践不可得的东西。
虽然说，理论上，理论和实际是一致的；实际上，……
但是，总是"靠谱"些，"科学"些。
其实，最最重要的是，这种四两拨千斤的小东西甚得我心啊。
Lincoln Index 就描述了，怎么从不靠谱的数据，得到相对靠谱的数据。
数数鸭子、数数鱼是可以的。也有人用来估计出版物的错误。
其他用途就看需要了。
甚至，国家大事/势，只要机关/构公布了足够的数据，和自己的数据一比较，就可以心里有数了。不光是感觉，还可以相对的量化了。
比如说，住房空置率，只要对住房总数达成一致，通过公布的数据，和自己对周边的观察，就能得到一个比较靠谱的数据了。
如果自己的数据已经完全被公布数据覆盖，那么，自然是以公布数据为准。
如果自己的数据有未覆盖到的，比如只有50%出现在公布数据中，那么计算得到的最后结果，就是公布数据的两倍。——和直觉很相符。
如果住房总数达不成一致，也可以通过这个公式计算嘛——假设公布数据中能细到，自己力所能及统计的小区域。
关键是，它为管中窥豹提供了数学依据。为直觉判断提供了佐证。
而且实践起来也不是很麻烦，不用七擒七纵，来个欲擒故纵（抓、放、抓）就 OK了。
其实，只要有两个独立的数据就行了。比如，审校就可以两个人分头并行，省掉了中间"放"的过程和时间。
更为重要的是，它提供了一种从可知到不可知的途径。
通过它，能获得，理论上，通过实践不可得的东西。
虽然说，理论上，理论和实际是一致的；实际上，……
但是，总是"靠谱"些，"科学"些。
其实，最最重要的是，这种四两拨千斤的小东西甚得我心啊。
2010-07-12
2010-07-02
鼠标
据说很有一些非洲人操作鼠标是用"拍"的，于是，我们的软件必须要能够完全通过键盘进行操作。
一直不是很理解。
今天看见了一个雷人的：
一直不是很理解。
今天看见了一个雷人的：
One day, I was teaching a nurse how to order medications using the new software. I explained to her the concept of ordering medicine over the computer and discussed how to use the mouse and keyboard to place the order. Just as I was done saying that, she picked up the mouse and talked into it, as if it were a microphone. I froze in shock for a few seconds and didn't know if I should pass out from laughter or simply turn around and walk away like it never happened. I kept my composure and showed her how to use the mouse correctly.
释然了。2010-06-08
石头记
毕业后工作不久，某日，突然发现，两颗门牙变黑了。
大约是牙垢、牙石吧。只是看见龇牙的照片时略有不爽，也懒得搭理。
后来，拔牙时，顺带一问。说是色素沉着。
再问是否要洗牙。答曰，不用。
遂心安理得。
今年春节后，某日，突然发现，牙又变白了！
疑惑中……
今天体检，B超。
侧身后，待大夫呼噜两下，便欲起身。
被按下，嘱鼓肚皮。
然后悲剧了——肾结石……
问之，是否需要治疗。
答曰，不痛不用管……
忐忑中……
感情石头挪地方了……
大约是牙垢、牙石吧。只是看见龇牙的照片时略有不爽，也懒得搭理。
后来，拔牙时，顺带一问。说是色素沉着。
再问是否要洗牙。答曰，不用。
遂心安理得。
今年春节后，某日，突然发现，牙又变白了！
疑惑中……
今天体检，B超。
侧身后，待大夫呼噜两下，便欲起身。
被按下，嘱鼓肚皮。
然后悲剧了——肾结石……
问之，是否需要治疗。
答曰，不痛不用管……
忐忑中……
感情石头挪地方了……
2010-06-06
I just want you to hold me
=====8<===== 似乎要翻墙 =====8<=====
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either ….but at least that she knows I'm smarter than her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)